What I learned recently...
Today’s topic is a mix of truth telling and asking the hard questions…
I’ve been in the personal concierge and assistance business for over a decade now. My main job is to provide assistance to clients so they can live their best lives…. at least for those who know to ask for help!
For the majority of us (I put myself in this group, too), it can be uncomfortable to ask for help - and that is if we remember we should ask in the first place. This could be explained by many reasons, some purely financial, others- plain ego… but I think the main reason is FEAR.
Fear of not being good enough, so by asking for help you think you are proving it to everyone.
Fear of losing control of the situation (right here ).
Fear of being viewed as weak.
Fear of …. (fill in the dots with your own reason).
Personally, for me, it is hard to ask for help because I am used to doing things myself and at some point it becomes like a second nature… but at the same time, this can be exhausting and all you want to do is sit and do nothing.
This past fall was physically and emotionally exhausting for me.. then came the winter blues and by the time it was March, I was counting the days until my departure for the yoga retreat I signed up for. (It was not at all what I expected yet everything I needed and hoped for). Coming back from it, I was asking myself why haven’t I done this before ?! Completely unplug, immerse myself in the experience, meditate, RELAX, and not have a care in the world. The answer was simple: fear.
Fear that I’ll miss on a big project.
Fear that things will not go smoothly with my employees while I am away.
Fear that I will be behind on some projects when I come back.
On and on.
I’ve been working on myself diligently in recent years – body, mind and spirit. In the past few months there has been a recurring theme for me – More Self Care.
Sure, I am the first person to jump at the word “spa” - but sometimes we need more. We need to recharge, we need ongoing support, we need to take care of ourselves so we can be present. Because, at the end, we are the ones in charge of our own body and mind.
Asking for help is hard but it shouldn’t be embarrassing. Everyone needs help, it is ok to admit it to yourself and others that you need the support. Imagine how much more productive, happy, and satisfied you could be with your life! Listening to the whispers of that little voice saying “I am not good enough or I am failing” is just hindering your progress and happiness in life.
As one of my mentors says “The words following ‘I am’ are powerful. Use them wisely.”Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, not only out loud but in your mind as well. Your thoughts are your own; to change how you see yourself, feel about yourself, and love yourself - you need to change how you think about yourself.
We all deserve and are worthy of help, time to recharge, and to be happy.
My next self care act is hiring another part time employee so I have the mental and physical capacity to deliver outstanding service to our clients, be a good leader, and just be happier overall.
What’s your next step??
Something to journal on: I read this on social media but it is so true – “If you never ask, the answer will be always no.”
So…. Have you asked for help? What are you afraid of? What is stopping you to get to your next level of happiness? What do you think is the origin of it? What if you change the narrative?